Bob, Jeff and I loaded up Bob's rig to the max and pulled out of Orange County at about 9 P.M. on Thursday night. As it turned out, I didn't need my piano, full sized gas BBQ grill, my collection of lead soldiers or the electric contour bed but Bob was nice enough to pack it all into his rig anyway. We were aware of the fact that no kills counted prior to 10 PM on Friday but we were anxious to do some scouting and give Bob some time to whip us novices into shape. After several hours of driving we began to do a few stands. On about the 4th stand, as Bob began to call for critters, a yote barked back immediately. It happened so fast and so close; I thought it was Bob's electronic caller. It took a few seconds for me to realize that we had a real live visitor. I swung the spot around and caught the yote's eyes for Jeff who was at the ready with his new General Electric 243 mini-gating gun. Jeff opened fire in a blaze of lead and fury and after a few seconds and 3000 rounds; we decided to see if we had a clean kill. We searched the area but the lifeless body of our first predator was nowhere to be found. We discussed the stand and we all decided that the damn yote was obviously wearing body armor. We knew exactly where he had been because we found a small bag of Gummy Jack Rabbits that had been hastily left behind.
Onward we went, stand after stand, call after call but had no luck for the rest of that evening. By morning we were in the area that we wanted to hunt for the remainder of our weekend. We made a simple meal of Eggs Benedict, French Pastries, Blue Mountain Coffee and a fresh fruit platter. After breakfast and a shower in the portable shower (gee, that water heater was heavy) we ironed our hunting clothes and began scouting again. After a few stands we had luck again. We had placed Bob's call box out in a field and we all took concealed positions. Out of nowhere a yote appeared and began to close in on the caller. Bob was closer than Jeff and I so it was his shot. We watched in awe as Bob skillfully centered his scope on the wary beast. The creature closed on his position and just as Bob was taking his shot, out of the bushes came this large mountain lion. It leaped for Bob and hit Bob's shooting sticks just as Bob was taking his shot. Naturally, that caused Bob's round to miss the yote. Fortunately, the discharge of Bob's rifle scared the lion away. We didn't actually see any of that part where the lion knocked his shooting sticks, causing Bob to miss his shot but Bob told us all about it. Boy, was he lucky.
We did stand after stand that evening but could not get any eyes at all. We figured that the bushy areas around the nudist colony would have been a good area to hunt but after talking to several girls at the nudist, NFL cheerleader camp, we decided that their shrill cries and laughter must have been frightening the yotes away. Finally, we gave up and played Pictionary with the Swedish Bikini Team until our late dinner of BBQ ribs, steamed artichokes, baked potatoes and Caesar salad. Dinner was good but we all thought the cheesecake was too heavy. After dinner, we hunted more and finally went to sleep for several hours. Suddenly, I awoke to the sounds of an attacking brown bear. I jumped from my contour bed only to find that it was just Jeff snoring. Whew!! That was a close one. I changed my underwear and went back to sleep.
More stands, more calls and then we found what seemed to be the perfect spot to set up a stand. A small water hole next to an open field and surrounding it were lots of bushy areas for coyotes to hide. We set the call box by the water hole and all took our positions. Bob and Jeff took the low ground and I chose a position up on the hill at the base of a rotten tree where the ants were bigger and hungrier. I was ready. I lay quietly in the piles of scat from some unknown creature, my trusty rifle sat steady on its bipod and I had a commanding view of most of the terrain below. The ants and I were ready for action (the damn ants were, that’s for sure). Bob started calling and soon the calls were returned. A bark, then a howl, just to my left. I glassed the field, expecting to see our little visitor any second. I had a prime position and knew that he was all mine. Time passed and I could hear the caller and the yote. I just didn't see him. After about 10 minutes, Bob called the stand to an end. I hiked down from my position (a mere 200 feet up the hill) and we all met at the call box. It seems that the yote was visible to everybody but me! Bob and Jeff were waiting for me to take the shot but I didn't ever see the darn thing. Meanwhile, Bob and Jeff were watching him all the time wondering what the heck I was doing up there. In retrospect, I figured that maybe I should have taken the lens caps off of my scope.
Late that evening, we had a nice lady at a small diner make us some coffee and some grub. The crab legs and lobster were great but the wine seemed a little off. Jeff sent the wine back and we settled for a newer year. Jeff met two nice men at the table next to us and invited them to join our club. I asked them where they got their nifty camo hunting tights. Jeff took a second look and then un-invited them to join our hunting club. As we prepared to leave, we noticed that Bob was asleep at the table. We picked Bob's head up, removed the mashed potatoes from his notrils and eyelashes and left.
All in all, I had a great time. I will admit that loading the same cartridge in and out of my rifle was a bit tiring but I had fun just the same. Maybe next time I'll get to take a shot at something. The bottom line for me is; the hunt entails the entire experience. It is a combination of the hunt, the verbal zingers going back and forth, and the opportunity to get to know Bob and Jeff. It was a totally positive experience (except for the snoring, late night gas attacks, and spilled rabbit urine) and I'm confident that we'll kick some coyote butts next time.
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