Leading American bullet manufacturer Nosler (http://www.nosler.com) has done it again. Nosler has developed a revolutionary, environmentally friendly, non-lead bullet that promises extreme accuracy and the elimination of all lead bullet environmental concerns.
Their latest eco-friendly offering, called the SBCS is manufactured using a top secret proprietary process that has been many years in development. The real news is that the SBCS contains no metal at all. The Nosler acronym SBCS stands for “Soy Based Condor Savior”. In essence, as a result of advanced technology, we can now grow our own ammunition.
Naturally, Nosler is pretty tight-lipped about the manufacturing process but rumor has it that Nosler and French nuclear company Singe Puant are partners in the “heavy-soy” research project. Nosler and Singe Puant are not officially commenting but there is word that the manufacturing process enlists the use of pre-processed, French power plant radioactive waste to transform food grade soy into “heavy soy”, therefore suitable for nano-compression and bullet manufacture.
It is believed that the combination of simultaneous exposure to radiation and nano-compression (super-compressing the radiated molecules of the soy product in a space-like vacuum) has produced a bullet product that is heavier than lead and twice as dense. The SBCS is also relatively frangible and will not ricochet as a result of striking hard objects such as rocks, etc.
Preliminary tests have shown the new projectile to be devastating when striking ballistic gelatin. Upon impact, the nano-compressed molecules are released from their radiation-bonded, molecular-cohesive state and instantly expand to one hundred and fifty times their compressed physical size. The instantaneous expansion of form coupled with the traditional ballistic spin causes unimaginable terminal damage and promises a small entrance wound with no exit wound.
Other claimed advantages to using the new Nosler SBCS are:
• Environmentally friendly, 100% biodegradable
• Glow in the dark much like tracer ammo but will not start fires
• Stray bullets actually grow soy plants (germinate in 6-months)
• Rifle ranges actually become eco-friendly feed lots for deer and other game
• Lost hunters can eat their ammo to survive after boiling for 35-minutes
• Contain no trans-fats
• Easy to find your ammo in the dark
• Smaller calibers effectively kill larger game
“The legislators of California have spoken and Nosler has listened”, said Tad A. Charlatan, Nosler’s California legislative liaison. Look for the SBCS Nosler bullets to be on the shelves of California sporting goods stores by May of 2008. They are packaged in a sporty, black, lead lined box and should not be stored near children’s living areas.
OK, so it's a joke article. I hope you had a laugh. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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